I’ve hit one of those dredded, or not so dreaded (depending how you look at it) crossroads. The one where you REALLY have no flipping idea what you want to do. The one where both paths could lead to really amazing things, but, you just really cannot for the life of you decide which way to turn. Fun huh!
I’ve been at my job now for 2.5 years and that’s pretty good considering it was such a fluke to get it, practically walking off the aeroplane and voila, here you go. So I know I was seriously lucky to score such a job. And I was/am still really grateful for being given the opportunity.
However, I’ve had enough now. My role is usually a 2 year thing. There is no real career path I can see stemming from this job, unless I want to move upwards to a more technical role, which I do not, which means I would just have to stay where I am and that doesn’t bode so well with me. I could head into an admin role within the company if one popped up or something along those lines. I know many people would do this and be okay with it. But for me, right now, I feel that I am 27 and I do have a huge lifetime in front of me, surely I should be able to find something I truly like, maybe even love ?
But here within lies the problems;
I don’t KNOW what I want to do. I don’t know what my hearts desire is in terms of career. I feel that at 27 regardless of current job, I should maybe have some idea. To a degree I do, or rather I know definitely what jobs I don’t want. If you started yelling jobs at me I would tell you straight out yes or no, actually that’s a lie it would more likely be definite NO’s and a few MAYBE’s.
And that’s my other problem, I am a super indecisive character and this can be a massive downfall, especially when it comes to big decisions (and some of the little ones, even choosing ice cream flavours, how can you ever make a quick decision, serious business right there!) I hate the feeling that I am making the wrong choice. I am terrified in fact. So you can only imagine my dismay when I know I have to, within the next few months or so, make some of those massive decisions.
I don’t HAVE to make these decisions, I’m not on any time frame or deadline with anyone else except myself, but I know I have to make change soon, a change for me, because otherwise I will just become dormant and stay in the same place, just because its easy and comfy, oh how we all LOVE easy and comfy. But I have to cow prod myself in my own ass, else I ain’t going anywhere anytime soon.
Soooo…It IS time to pull up my socks and really take a good hard think about what I want to do, I know I have a few good years left before kiddlies would come along and I want something that’s going to be feasible for me to do with kids and after kids, ya know!
Beginning from right now, I am starting to flip my way through possible career ideas and anything that sparks even a miniscule flame in my heart, will be written onto a piece of paper, and researched thoroughly.
I know there is an amazing job out there waiting for me, I might not even know what is it yet, but I know I am not destined to be in a role that 20 others can do, I want to make a difference, I want to shine. And that my friends, isn’t too much to ask. Is it ?
Have you any suggestions for me? Have you ever been in this position?
Linking in with Jess for IBOT, because I can.